Currently Watching: Rent

I thought the opening number would make a good cell phone commercial; the only thing missing was Catherine Zeta-Jones. Other than that, you can skip this one. We had to turn it off after the first ten minutes as it was utterly devoid of substance. And good music.

Cue CHOIR: 525,600 minutes!

(music continues; CHOIR looks out into space and keeps dancing)

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES enters.

CZJ: T-Mobile’s Rent Anywhere plan gives you the freedom to talk whenever and however you like. You don’t have to pay last years’ rent, either, you struggling artist, you.

CHOIR: 525,600 minutes!
(music continues; CHOIR can hardly contain itself; we have Broadway jobs!)

CZJ: With 525,600 Anywhere-minutes, T-Mobile has the number one cell phone plan in America. You can talk for the rest of your life. Talk in your car, talk on the bus, talk in the middle of a movie or a concert, talk in your sleep. Heck, you could leave your cell phone on for two weeks straight! Your battery will wear out before this plan does!

CHOIR: (raising hands) 525,600 minutes!

CZJ: (Smiles and walks to the camera)

Logo. Fade to white.