You Can Skip The Da Vinci Code
If you’ve read the book you can safely skip it. If you haven’t read the book you can safely skip it. “The Da Vinci Code” is essentially “National Treasure Part 2: Templar Boogaloo.”
Warning: possible spoilers ahead, but you’ve already read the book, right?
| National Treasure | The Da Vinci Code |
|---|---|
| Nicolas Cage plays Nicolas Cage the cryptologist | Tom Hanks plays Tom Hanks the cryptologist |
| searching for the greatest secret mankind has ever known | searching for the greatest secret mankind has ever known |
| assisted by the smart, pretty, yet confused Abigail Chase (Diane Kruger) | assisted by the smart, pretty, yet confused Sophie Neveu (Audrey Tautou) |
| chased by a cop (Harvey Keitel) who belongs to a secret society | chased by a cop (Jean Reno) who belongs to a secret society |
| and a villain (Sean Bean) who wants the treasure for bad-man purposes. | and a villain (Paul Bettany) who wants the treasure for bad-man purposes. |
| Along the way they’ll seek the help of an older expert (Jon Voight) | Along the way they’ll seek the help of an older expert (Ian McKellen) |
| who will make redundant, exaggerated statements about the importance of the quest and ultimately, just get in the way. | who will make redundant, exaggerated statements about the importance of the quest and ultimately, just get in the way. |
| In the end you’ll have the urge to steal the Declaration of Independence and join the Masons. | In the end you’ll have the urge to dig up Mary Magdalene’s remains underneath the Louvre and expose The Great Christian Hoax! |
| No, really, what if it’s true? Really! | Non, vraiment, ce qui s’il est vrai? Vraiment! |
| Musical score by Trevor Rabin, who sounds surprisingly like Hans Zimmer | Musical score by Hans Zimmer, who sounds surprisingly like Trevor Rabin |
Here’s the difference: National Treasure is only 2 hours and 11 minutes long.
very cool review. i wish you could post this on Filmcrowd (we have a compilation of Da Vinci Code user-reviews here http://www.filmcrowd.com/content/world/all/5092/Da_Vinci_Code_The/8/0)
but the format wouldn’t really work. maybe you could write a short capsule review instead?
if you add your blog-url to your profile, a link appears at the bottom of every review you write, so it might even send some traffic your way.
May 22nd, 2006 at 5:22 pmThanks, Luis, for the vote of confidence and the invitation. I’m going to decline, however, as I find writing in this space fulfilling enough for my current needs. Cheers.
May 23rd, 2006 at 8:18 amThat was the coolest review I’ve read of the Da Vinci Code – book or movie.
June 5th, 2006 at 9:39 pmHa. Thanks, Mike. You’re way too generous. Keep up the great posts, by the way. Kathleen and I read them all.
June 6th, 2006 at 8:38 am