Three Cheers
I began writing this post on Wednesday but it is quite appropriate that I’m just now finishing it. I’ve been a wee bit busy this week since Harry returned to work. I’ve also been extremely tired. Despite spending 12 hours in bed last night (9pm to 9am, thanks to Harry getting out of bed with Charlie this morning), I probably slept 4-hrs total, broken into two 2-hr chunks. Newborns and gas = a bad combination for a good night’s sleep. And now Miles has slept most of the afternoon and evening, so I am fearful of what our night will bring, but hopefully I’ll be pleasantly surprised.
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The house is eerily quiet. I decided to hire Tory to come over this morning and take Charlie to the playground. At this point, such an outing is something I could probably manage, but I’m also really tired and still recovering so I try to still all the ridiculous voices inside my head that tell me I shouldn’t spend money on this or am somehow abandoning my child by giving us both this freedom. This is a constant challenge for most moms that I know. How much time away from your kids is “acceptable” and when does taking time for ourselves cross a line to mean we’re selfish.
Anyways, instead of napping while Miles naps, putting away the huge pile of laundry at my feet, doing dishes or making a meal, I walked to Macrina and bought a coffee. I called my best friend on the walk back. And even though my littlest boy is still resting I have decided to write instead of work or sleep. First of all, the coffee makes sleep difficult and tastes really good. Secondly, writing sounds restful to me. So, here you are reading my stream of consciousness post. But Miles just began pooping in his sleep, so I imagine this time will be short lived.
The boy can poop and pee. Charlie probably sprayed a total of five times during diaper changes in his life. Miles pees almost every time he’s exposed to open air. He adores being naked. His whole body relaxes and he lets it all go. I’m getting quite good at catching all his pees in a wash cloth. Good for the environment, you know. And when I miss, I can still laugh about it, unless it’s 2am. Then I might not laugh but that’s mostly because I’m changing diapers in a half comatose state and might not even notice that he peed on me until I get back in bed and realize my clothes are all wet and it’s not from lactating, which can be the other source of wet surprises sometimes.
Our first outing with Miles was to the midwife office to address some of my concerns with my recovery and he happened to have an enormous poop that came up his back and front and down his legs. It surrounded his still-healing umbilical cord site which you’re reminded to keep clean and dry to prevent infection by just about every nurse and pamphlet prior to leaving the hospital. We had rushed to the office because they were technically closed and the midwife on-call was fitting us in while one of her patient’s was pushing. Thinking we had a well-packed diaper bag from the day prior’s trip to the pediatrician, we grabbed it and ran out the door. So, we were surprised to find not a single diaper nor wipe to help us with Miles’ poopsplosion. All we had was an extra outfit for Miles and one of Charlie’s pull-ups. The poop was discovered prior to the midwife’s arrival and when Miles started rooting and fussing, even though I was in a gown and covered by a sheet ready to be examined, I decided to nurse him in case she took a long time. So, in she walks while I’m holding a five day old baby covered in his own poop with yellow poop stains on my gown and sheet. Thank goodness she was a midwife and a mom, too. She hooked us up with lots of wash cloths, I cut apart Charlie’s pull-up to cover Miles for the trip home (who managed to pee all over the office floor and Harry’s leg before we cleaned up the mess and got him dressed & “diapered” again), and we were out the door with a clean baby within an hour.
That event showed Harry and I how much we’ve grown as parents and as a team these past three years. It would’ve really thrown us for a loop with Charlie, but with Miles we were able to work together, laugh at the continued string of problems, and find solutions, as silly as they may be.
While this post didn’t start out to be a a Mother’s Day post, I will let it journey there given the timing. Reflecting on my first week going solo with the boys reminds me how experiencing a “successful” motherhood is due greatly to community. For me, successful means enjoying my role the majority of the time, growing through the parts that make me crazy and fearful, connecting with and encouraging my children in play and emotional/spiritual/physical development, and providing a healthy household routine and nurturing food…and probably a few other key issues I can’t pinpoint at the moment because I should be sleeping. This week my community made the difference. Harry cheered me on from work and provided the extra morning and evening boost we all needed. Friends brought over meals, as well as conversation and playmates, to make the days not so long and my list of demands shorter. Despite not having a job, Tory ended up kindly giving us her time as a baby present and even vacuumed our house. I also got calls and emails from friends checking in on me which greatly brightened my days.
So, this mother’s day I applaud all the people out there who support moms. You make an enormous difference in the well-being of an entire household through your kindness and generosity. Without my support team, this mom would’ve probably cussed at her three year old during one of his horrible yelling tantrums and fed our family the same meal for breakfast, lunch and dinner this week. Instead, you brought me perspective, joy, and a step closer to sanity. Thank you.
On a totally random note, I am a 33 year old mom to 3-year old and 3-week old boys who is celebrating her third mother’s day with the three men in her life. Shall I celebrate with three cakes?
Happy Mother’s Day
I end with a picture of our growing baby. At his ten day appointment he was already 9lbs, 5 oz. If he has kept us his ounce a day weight gain, he’s reaching 10lbs now. I imagine it’s the case. Chub chub is coming! :)
