Archive for the Books Category

Tonight I share a few unrelated items with our readers.  Wait, do we have any readers besides dear, faithful Juliet & Jessica?  I think even my mom stopped checking out loveoirs after I stopped writing regularly.  Hmmm…chime in, people.  Just once so that I know I shouldn’t just keep a journal and photocopy it for Juliet & Jessica.

Our to-do list is slowly getting smaller.  What we have completed in the past three months makes my head spin a bit.  I’m going to do some self-indulgent reflecting on all of these tasks for a minute: house ready for market, maintaining cleanliness & neatness for showings, Harry interviewing, lining up movers, packing our stuff-including sorting, donating, shredding, etc…, celebrating holidays and birthdays, moving, finding a rental, unpacking, finding midwives & doctors and going to appointments, registering our car, getting driver’s licenses, surviving all of us being sick, finding a dentist, finding a preschool, Charlie’s third birthday, dealing with a water back-up in the basement and no washing machine for a week, dealing with a broken dryer for nearly two weeks,  getting insurance quotes, trying to find someone to cover our vacant home, and probably a zillion other things I’ve forgotten because half of my brain is somewhere near the interstate in Utah.  Plus, just regular life stuff like laundry, cooking, playing with and nurturing Charlie, and getting groceries.  And Harry adjusting to a new job.  Oh yeah, and I’m 33 weeks pregnant and feeling rather large.  Please know that I’m aware how whiney that all could sound.  While it has been exhausting,  I know our problems and task lists are luxurious and that most people would love to trade us for their own.  I’m just wanting to record this so that I’m reminded of how well cared for we’ve been during such a full period of life.  It is not a complaint, although admittedly I have entered that zone many times during the past few months.

The harder times have been well balanced with lots of beautiful, fun, and exciting times, like enjoying conversation and meals with friends, exploring our new neighborhood in our old city, savoring delicious coffee and baked goods, relishing being back at our church, and soaking in the most beautiful February week Seattle has ever known.  (I don’t know if that’s really true, but it has been phenomenal.)  What I have learned these past three months is to rely more deeply on God’s provision.  He provided for us in amazing ways by getting us here so quickly and ultimately with perfect timing (although we couldn’t see this at the time).  Our friends and church here have taken such good care of us- helping us with everything from providing places to sleep, meals, unpacking, playdates, to sanding and priming tables for goodness sake!

On one of the beautiful days this week Charlie and I took his bike out for a spin.  Since we were out of beans we stopped at Macrina for me to grab some java.  Charlie entered and Ellen, who is probably his favorite worker there (and she admits to having a crush on Charlie), happily greeted him and commented on his cool helmet.  He proudly displayed it for her and proceeded to tell her that his bike is cool too and that he’d like a treat.  He is really comfortable in stores now and loves to order his own items, with or without his parents’ permission.  Thankfully, the workers usually confirm with us.  After Macrina and some playground time we biked back home, only to see backhoes and dumptrucks down the street.  Charlie and I ended up sitting on someone’s stairs for nearly a half hour so he could watch.  Near the end of our stay he started playing his sippy cup like a guitar and called it his milk guitar.  He cheerfully made up a song, played air guitar and watched the backhoe.  The sun was shining, an enormous cherry tree was within my view, the Olympics were also within sight and all was perfect.  Well, except for the fresh, wet bird poop that was on the stairs right next to us, tempting Charlie to finger paint.

After having read a summary of the book, engaging in conversations with many friends about it, and wanting to read it for months, I FINALLY have “Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child” in my hands!!!  I am so excited.  I feel like this could be one of the most important books Harry and I read as parents because implementing Gottman’s ideas into our parenting might be the most emotionally formative choice we make.  I am already slightly familiar with some of his principles from my graduate school training, particularly the counseling course, and have tried to acknowledge and validate Charlie’s emotions, so I’m thankful that I don’t feel like I’m being repeatedly hit over the head with all of the ways I’ve parented poorly.  But, geez, it’s humbling.  It is such a balance to keep their emotions in mind, respect their needs and desires, and still get out the door in time for appointments.  Maybe this is why we were late to our first visit to the new pediatrician.  Yes, it was that I favored emotional well-being over promptness, that’s it!

After doing research on pediatric dentists and discovering that those recommended by friends here or ranked high on the websites I viewed were not in our plan, I called a random dentist office today and asked about his pediatric experience.  His receptionist actually said, “Well, he’s getting better.  [I'm silent in disbelief and she continues]   He has a four year old now and he seems to be more understanding.”  Clearly, not someone I’m going to send him to, especially after reading the Gottman book 12 hours prior!  I get off the phone, talk with Aaron about our completed coffee tables (I am *so* excited to have these sanded & primed, ready for our fun new paint colors!), and he recommended their dentist.  In our plan, scheduled perfectly, and with a view of Puget Sound!  At least one of us will enjoy that part.  And I can reward Charlie with a trip to the beach after his dental visits.

Lastly, I have been thinking a lot about America’s food industry.  I watched a few more clips (one was a Katie Couric interview with Dr. Kessler and Eric Schlosser, another was a TED.org lecture with Jamie Oliver, and the last was a Michael Pollan lecture available on hulu.com) and engaged in conversation with Angie about Eating Animals, a book she’s reading.  I am becoming increasingly convinced that our food choices are not only important for our health and for the environment, but for the well-being of our neighbors…mostly our poor, third-world, developing country neighbors who are at the mercy of our choices.  Taking the steps to live more sustainably and responsibly are not easy.  They require giving up convenience (boxed cereal in the morning or stovetop oatmeal? mac & cheese for kids or a prepared lunch?), weaning ourselves off the sugar and salt we’re accustomed to in processed foods, and learning to find entertainment and pleasure outside of eating out at restaurants that serve questionable food (which is most of the affordable ones).  We’re going to take a few more small steps…starting with getting rid of cereal and macaroni and cheese.  We’re going to regularly have stovetop oatmeal and alternate with granola.  I’m going to try to make some homemade mac & cheeses and see if Charlie takes to any of them, but if not, he’ll slowly forget about his love for the boxed wonder.  And we’ll all be healthier because of it.

Alright, I’m not editing this, so my apologies for errors.  I’m tired but I want to post.  Good night!

This evening we hosted many friends for an open house / certain 3-year old’s birthday party.  Charlie wanted pie for his birthday, and man, did the boy get his wish.  Instead of gifts we asked people to bring pie.  I figured maybe 50% would bring something, but nearly everyone did.  This is in addition to the chocolate mousse pie, two pizzas, chocolate pecan tartlets, veggies, fruit, dips, crackers, etc…that we put out.  I didn’t want to run out of food and we definitely didn’t.  Plates and utensils were another matter.  Oops.   It was all lovely, though, and now we have an open invitation out to anyone who wants pie tomorrow.  Come and get it!

Our new place worked out great for the party.  I was nervous about how baby unfriendly it is (stairs that drop to the cement basement floor!, steep stairs to the bathroom upstairs!, sharp furniture corners!…visions of bleeding foreheads ran through my mind) but I think the many babies and toddlers present made it through without a scratch.  The bigger kids spent a lot of time in the basement, as opposed to Charlie and baby’s bedrooms, which ended up working out really well.  Upstairs is clean, main floor looks like Hansel and Gretel were lost here, basement hasn’t been seen by me yet and frankly, I don’t care what shape it’s in.  The nice thing is that the kids were happily entertained by Charlie’s new mini-golf set, legos, and his mini-Coupe.  Thankfully they didn’t find our enormous pile of empty moving boxes too exciting or there could’ve been a rescue effort.

I heard through the grapevine that Charlie was “teaching” all his visitors and new friends how to play golf.  This included stepping behind Larson (age 13, I believe) and Eden (age 16?) to help them hold the golf club correctly.  (Make you think of Kevin Costner behind Sandra Bullock in Tin Cup?!)  He loves to teach, he loves to help.  Charles in charge.  But I’m still in charge of nights, right?

To any of you who came today and also happen to read this, thank you for blessing us with your friendship.  Thank you for making our time in Seattle so rich that we were excited to return to your presence.  Thank you for helping us transition back during a rather crazy time.  We are extremely grateful.