Giving Thanks
I am finding more and more that fostering an attitude of thankfulness requires a consistent, deliberate practice. Without a conscious effort to remember all that is good, it is far too easy to get sucked into the abyss of sadness this world brings. Even my own current simple challenges–wondering how and when our job/move situation will pan out, feeling pregnancy related pain, and listening to Charlie’s wails and demands when he’s not at his best–can feel life-sucking. Sometimes I almost can’t see my way out unless I talk to someone wise enough to listen just as I need or who happens to be having a worse time. This is not how I want to foster thankfulness. I want my heart to know, not just see, the beauty and good in life, regardless of whether my struggles are relatively easier or harder than those of people I interact with. We are surrounded by such intense pain and suffering that there will always be someone having a harder time somewhere. Yet, their heart may be in a better spot, more willing to accept life for its ups and downs and trust that life isn’t about the ease with which we get through it. We are created for so much more than just getting by.
Thanksgiving lends itself to much beauty, not the least of which is that it encourages so many people to stop and think about what they’re thankful for before they stuff themselves silly. I celebrate this part of Thanksgiving and love that it is a part of Harry and my tradition to share these thoughts. Additionally, I like that it’s a call to return to or strengthen a practice of meditating regularly on our blessings. Without giving thanks, I am sure to grow bitter, forgetful, and weary.
There is also plenty about Thanksgiving with which I don’t care to identify or celebrate. I just read this article about the historical atrocities associated with this holiday and reminded of how deep the pain runs for many Native Americans when our nation recognizes only the happily-presented (elementary school version that many adults still believe) pilgrim part of the story. Highlighting his years of being bonded by anger, the author’s last line is perfect: “And we’ll give thanks that we live in a country where remembering the past need not shackle us to it.” It seems a good balance to discuss the truth and then choose to celebrate the ways that love has triumphed over hate, thankfulness over ungratefulness.
I also find it difficult to swallow the costs associated with Thanksgiving–physically, financially, environmentally, and sadly, for many, spiritually and emotionally–that could be lessened by making a few changes. (I feel this way about Christmas, too…particularly store bought obligatory gifts.) I’m all in favor of a local, organic, sustainable Thanksgiving meal. Not a feast, but a minimalist, stress-free meal that allows people to engage in relational activities and enjoy the day. This does not have to be any more expensive than a conventional meal. In fact, by not having a turkey (which wouldn’t bother me one bit), the costs are decreased significantly. If turkey is a must, getting a heritage turkey seems worth the extra cost. I’ve heard the flavor is significantly better (maybe I’d actually want turkey annually if I tried one of them) and they’re not packed with hormones. In fact, they can actually reproduce on their own. (Isn’t it horrifying that conventional turkeys can’t reproduce!?) You could cut costs elsewhere by having fewer sides, no alcohol, etc… Or, don’t eat meat for a few weeks prior and after. This would also help off-set the environmental impact of the holiday. We have a very long way to go in celebrating this way, but I believe it is a gift to the world to do so. It is an acknowledgment that our choices impact the whole world and by choosing simplicity, we are respecting our global neighborhood.
So, I’m done with my truth sharing and moving on towards focusing on love. We have so much to be thankful for that it’s almost embarrassing. Yesterday I had a twenty week ultrasound for our littlest Love. The baby is healthy and growing well, already 11 inches and over 300 grams. (It also seems to be following in Charlie’s shoes for head size. Great…can’t wait for labor again.) The appointment length was going to make Harry’s work day challenging and we both opted for him to stay at work. So that we could still learn the baby’s gender at the same time, I arranged for a bakery near Harry’s office to prepare a half dozen chocolate coconut cupcakes for a boy and strawberry milkshake ones for a girl. The ultrasound tech had me turn my head every time I could’ve been informed, praising me all the while for doing a good job not cheating. She was pretty cute in how proud she seemed of me. And she was happy to make the call even though she’d never been asked to do so before. Harry met me at the bakery after the appointment and we eagerly opened up our box and tearfully celebrated our news with a pair of really delicious cupcakes and shots of espresso. After a few minutes by ourselves, the delightful Tee and Cakes owner, Kim, generously brought us a onesie for the baby. The staff there couldn’t have treated us better. I think they liked being in on the secret. And they probably liked my tears, too.
A few of many other things that keep me singing praises, in no particular order:
Sweet baby Caroline, who has triumphed through a very rough first year of life that included heart failure, feeding tubes, and open heart surgery. She is as cute as a button and melts your heart with her smile. She is recovering beautifully and beginning to really hit her stride. Her parents, my dear friend Leslie and her husband Mike, have been amazing. They have inspired me countless times with their optimism, endurance, strength, advocacy, and profound love.
Our friends Lonnie and Juliet finally got to pick up their son from Ethiopia and now have him in their arms on a daily basis. I got the pleasure of meeting Daniel in October and almost couldn’t believe that he’s cuter in person than he is in his pictures, because his pictures turn me into jello. The kid is as adorable as they come. Brightest eyes I’ve ever seen. Man, I want to hold him right now! It is such exquisite beauty to see friends who have longed for a family holding their baby in their arms.
My core group girls. I have absolutely loved getting to know these college women by having them into our home regularly for study and fellowship. Had I known I would be pregnant or that we might be moving, I probably wouldn’t have signed up to lead a group. It has deeply enriched these past few months for me. They have taught me so much with their passion, exuberance, energy, vulnerability, and eagerness to grow. I will dearly miss meeting with them if we move. You girls better take a road trip!
Harry’s job. While it has created a new source of difficulties, it allowed us to stay in our house, rebuild our savings a bit, and take a deep sigh of relief after our year of limited income. It also gave us the freedom to feel like we could start trying for another child. Now, it seems, it might be leading us to another source of thankfulness…a return to Seattle.
While leaving Colorado will be heart-breaking and extremely difficult on many levels, we are thankful that jobs exist in Seattle for Harry’s line of work. If we had to move somewhere else, I can’t imagine how upset I’d be. But a return to Seattle feels like a return home. We have never stopped missing our friends and church. We also have discovered that we’re not suburbia folks…we like city life, even the nitty-gritty. It is only in the joy of returning to people we dearly miss and love that we can face the pain of leaving others behind.
With that, I hope you all find a moment to reflect on what is good, beautiful, and loving in your life. If you have read this entire post, you are certainly a good friend to me! Happy Thanksgiving!!!
