Archive for the The Spiritual Category

The questions we answered last year still feel relevant this year so we’re going to answer them again.

What are you happiest about?

Kathleen: Having a baby.
Harry: Having a baby.

What’s the baby’s name?

Kathleen: Justin Uhlotta
Harry: Asurp Rize

No, really

…did some of you fall for that last year? We know you did. Here’s the birth announcement we posted last year.

Share a memorable laugh you had

Harry: These are two of my favorites: Charlie and the Crazy Cow; The Hand

Kathleen: I like Harry’s choices, as well as a night not so long ago when Harry talked while sucking in air and I communicated only through gesturing. Harry’s inhalation comments made me laugh so hard that I was crying.

If you could walk through any door, what would you like it to open to?

Kathleen: The honest answer is the inside of our friends’ homes in Seattle.

Harry: The honest answer is the inside of one of these.

Who is your favorite neighborhood cat?

Kathleen: Do coyotes count?

Harry: Yeah, I think the coyotes eat the cats around here because I’ve never seen one.

Will you be happy to say goodbye to anything from 2007?

Kathleen: Moving.

Harry: If I’m honest, my job at UW. I enjoyed the people, of course, but the job dynamics didn’t fit my personality. I was there 6 years, probably 4 too many.

Who has inspired you?

Kathleen: Harry. Charlie. Angie. Nickie.

Harry: Kathleen is my hero. I’m inspired by her endless thoughtfulness for Charlie, me, her family, and her friends. She has more care and concern for people than anyone I know.

When do you feel like time flies?

Kathleen: When I reflect on how much Charlie has changed since birth!!! Otherwise, it’s felt quite slow this year.

Harry: Working on Jetrecord. There just aren’t enough hours in the day.

Any favorite movies or videos?

Kathleen: All our videos of Charlie on Vimeo. Bourne Ultimatum. Ocean’s 13.

Harry: Dramatic Prairie Dog, I Trusted You, Beverly Hills Cop, Bridge to Terabithia (watched without sound on the plane to Louisiana), Superbad, and surprisingly, Blades of Glory. Yet again we’re way behind the times on movies. We became Netflix members this year so I hope we’ll at least catch a few recent releases.

Any favorite music or books?

Kathleen: I’m still playing the same music from last year’s post! I finally read One Hundred Years of Solitude which was incredible, but probably not a good choice when I’m feeling a bit of solitude myself these days…

Harry: As for music I discovered The Acorn this year. I also bought Radiohead’s new album In Rainbows and I love it. Sadly, no books to mention. And really, my music appreciation has been restricted to passive listening at work so I’m not sure that counts, either. Maybe four years from now when someone buys the business for $20M I’ll take some time to read fiction again.

Favorite web sites?

Kathleen: Same answer as last year: “I’m not much of a web surfer, so my vote is for my email account. Harry always shows me funny sites, so I get to see the good stuff without searching for it.” Although—and I’m hesitant to admit—I joined Facebook after getting roped in by a friend (you know who you are!).

Harry: Tip: for the last few years I’ve found all my interesting sites from two places: Delicious/popular and kottke.org. Of course there’s more going on out there but that’s where I start. I joined Twitter in March. Interesting communication medium.

Other than the baby, what are you looking forward to this year?

Kathleen: For the first time in my life, I have almost no idea what this year will bring…apart from spending most of my time with Charlie. I hope to get back to work (very) part-time if we can figure out good care for Charlie and I hope to visit Seattle. I am looking forward to starting the seeds of new friendships and fellowship, growing relationships in Colorado, and the treasured conversations with friends of old.

Harry: The day after Christmas this year I realized that I have everything in life that I’d ever hoped for. That said, I’m looking forward to opening the doors on Jetrecord for the second year in a row.

The End.

As always, we update Loveoirs from time to time with our thoughts so you can keep up with what we’re doing. Our photos (all 2,700 of them) are still on Flickr and we’ve put together a set of 2007 highlights to spare all of you who aren’t his grandparents from looking through our hundreds of pictures of Charlie. Our videos are on Vimeo. Everything else will at least be mentioned here.

Cheers and Happy New Year!

Several friends likened the first 6-8 weeks of parenthood as boot camp and I see the parallels: physical pain during labor & recovery, undesired wake-up calls, frequent repetitive exercises (albeit bouncing and rocking versus climbing walls and doing push-ups), occasional demanding screams, random fluids ending up on your body, etc… However, boot campers undoubtedly don’t get delicious meals delivered to them, cards or gifts, frequent calls of encouragement and offers for help, and family visiting (thank you everybody!!!). We have been incredibly blessed with support, making our experience much easier than it could’ve been. Also, Charlie is an awesome baby (yes, I’m biased). He’s generally easy to console, a huge snuggle bug, and so darn cute that I almost don’t mind when he’s wide awake at 3am…and again at 4:30…and again at 6…. The latest adorable acts include his smile and frequent “ah-oo” noise. The cooing noise appears to be initiated following ours on occasion, too! It might be his first conversation of sorts (I’m going to try to avoid being too SLP-ish in my analysis of his early speech development!).

Do boot campers experience anything like labor? I haven’t written about my labor yet, and might do so in more detail at a later date, but here’s the highlights for those who haven’t heard:

• Harry had strep and I had a cold (all my symptoms stopped during labor and returned after delivery)
• Contractions started on Februrary 4th at 2am and I delivered on the 5th at 6:20pm, making it a grand total of 40 hours (20-24 of which were “active”, of which waaaay too many were pushing).
• We had a doula, who is also a friend, present with us for the last 22 hours or labor! If an award exists, she should win it for her dedication and amazing coaching. I believe that without her the labor would have been much more difficult and I might’ve ended up with a cesarean.
• Thankfully we needed no serious medical intervention. Being able to walk and use different positions for contractions, and eat(initially)/drink also probably helped me endure. And the 3 Rs (relaxation, ritual, rhythm) work! (Again, thanks to our doula reminding me to use them and knowing when to change things up.) FYI- I highly recommend the Simkin books Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn and The Birth Partner for labor prep.
• 3rd degree tear/four lacerations total- this is why I was essentially bedrest for the first two weeks and am still not supposed to lift anything heavier than Charlie. I am much better now and incredibly thankful to be sitting, walking, driving, etc…
• It was the most profound spiritual experience of my life. I have never felt God so present and comforting. He undoubtedly prepared Harry & I for this experience and made specific, tangible ways for us to endure the challenges, including: Harry’s fever breaking right as we needed to go to the hospital; friends sharing verses with me that I ended up clinging to during contractions; providing us with an amazing doula, especially since Harry was sick, labor took so long, and Harry & I would’ve had no clue about how to make contractions less painful and more productive. There are many other specific incidents, as well.

Since this post has taken me 3 days to write by sneaking in sentences while Charlie’s content in a bouncy chair, I must end it before he’s 6 months old and none of this is relevant anymore!

Yes, we have the cutest baby. I’ve added more photos to the week 1 photo set.

We’re doing much better. Kathleen and I are starting to get into a rhythm. My throat feels better. Kathleen is still in pain but isn’t coughing as much. We’re getting used to the sleep. After our fun start last Sunday, any sleep feels heavenly, so one hour here and one hour there isn’t so bad.

Charlie is … weep … wonderful. What a gift! On Friday I taught him Life Lesson #1: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.” (Proverbs 1:7) And some of you may be saying “whah?” Fear? In a way, yes, fear is a little part of it, but in the same sense that you would fear Mount Everest as you climbed it. You’re not running away from it and cowering waiting to be struck down. At the same time you have a healthy respect for something so grand and majestic and dangerous. The word used in this instance is the Hebrew word Yirah, which means “reverence for the Lord.” I want Charlie to know that, above all, we stand in awe of our God who gave us life and chose not to spare his own. That kind of love is terrifying.

Lesson #2 was doing his multiplication tables, which he memorized.

Cheers.

Only Maya Angelou can use this metaphor to discuss life and pull it off without sounding like an elementary school student. It was her inspirational theme while speaking to a large Seattle crowd last week, an event I was able to partake off due to a lovely collision of Harry’s thoughtfulness and my birthday! Think of every adjective to describe someone who is larger than life, and it would describe Maya. She was truly the phenomenal woman about whom she has written.

Of course, I am biased. I have read her works with awe and gratitude since high school, one of the few authors whom I sought for that long without obligation from teachers. I even deferred admission to Wake Forest, where she’s on faculty, hoping that someday I could learn directly from her. That still makes me shiver, but meeting Harry, going to Siberia, meeting my college friends, and allowing my dad’s retirement to occur before 80 certainly outweigh that scant possibility.

Anyways, her voice and message were rich. She alternated between sharing her own life experiences and reading poetry (both her own and others) to encourage us to believe in our unique gifts, see our potential to be rainbow amidst others’ clouds, and be thankful for those who have done so for us. She shared that without rainbows in our clouds, none of us could say “Good morning” everyday. None of us could continue through life keeping our heads high. At the end of the night, the woman sitting next to me, who came by herself, tearfully told me she really needed to hear Maya’s messsage. I could see in her eyes that she had been in a desperate place and was leaving it. I may never cross paths with this woman again, but she blessed me that night through her vulnerability. I believe she left changed, encouraged, and renewed. I believe this was the case for most of the audience. What incredible work.

This is what I want to remember to strive for: to be like Maya was for the audience, so that each person I encounter may know they are loved, unique, and special. In the midst of the daily grind, it is hard to remember that this is so important. Not only for our loved ones, but for strangers. For those whom a simple “Good morning” could make their day.

After much weeping and gnashing of teeth, I have separated the sheep from the goats in my very imperfect, non-What-Would-Jesus-Design way. And so, HarryLove.org is now open for public lambasting. Just don’t ask me what it’s for.

I realize it’s not a unique experience, but the course of how it happened was wonderful. I happened to view a site this morning that I usually only check on weekends (it’s about Seattle events and my weekdays tend to be eventful enough). Delightfully spying Anne’s name, I discovered that she was in Seattle tonight at 7pm. Given that my work schedule usually occupies me until 8, I was bummed but not distraught, thinking, I’ll catch her the next time. But my boss cheerfully gave me permission to see if my last client could come a different time, and she could! Hooray!!! After years of reading her books I could finally hear Anne’s voice! And she definitely did not disappoint. Staying true to her written expression, and I suppose, ultimately who she is, her responses to audience questions exemplified the gifts I savor in her storytelling: genuine faith and all its complications, humor, honesty, courage. Many times she had the audience roaring with laughter.

Due to arthritic hands, Anne refrained from personalizing books afterwards and only signed them with her name (although, after being asked to do so, I watched her graciously write a message for one woman which I imagine she did many times over). She joked that we could write our own messages if we wanted, so I took her at her word. Harry suggested, “Kathleen, you’re awesome! Love, …”, so I went with it. I imagine she must’ve seen my fifth grade yearbook message and thought either a) good thing she’s not an author, b) she’s full of herself, or c) interesting choice… Either way, I’m glad I personalized her latest book to myself. Thanks to my mom’s gifts of two signed books several years back, my collection is growing. Let me know if you want to borrow any of them…

I feel like this sometimes.

Dawkins:

“If it’s true that it causes people to feel despair, that’s tough. It’s still the truth. [blank] doesn’t owe us condolence or consolation; [blank] doesn’t owe us a nice warm feeling inside. If it’s true, it’s true, and you’d better live with it.”

[via Kottke]

Now, for 10 points, is he talking about the existence of God or the non-existence of God?

I happen to agree with Donald Miller’s take on the issue of arguing over the existence of God. In Blue Like Jazz, he says:

“My most recent faith struggle is not one of intellect. I don’t really do that anymore. Sooner or later you just figure out there are some guys who don’t believe in God and they can prove He doesn’t exist, and some other guys who do believe in God and they can prove He does exist, and the argument stopped being about God a long time ago and now it’s about who is smarter, and honestly I don’t care.”

This place needs a design and it needs a purpose. There’s nothing worse than a purposeless activity, except one that has a superficial purpose, one that we’ve bought into to make us feel purposeful. Such is the way of many web sites—and for that matter, many of life’s activities. A life of wasted time doesn’t sound like fun to me, and I suspect it doesn’t to you, either. Making a web site is easy but I don’t intend to keep it going if it has no purpose.

So, Kathleen, I’d like to make this place meaningful and I think you would, too. If we cannot, let’s close it now before it takes on the appearance of purpose.

And now some definitions:

• meaningful: having a meaning or purpose (boy, that’s useful, ain’t it?)
• meaning: inner significance
• purpose: the object toward which one strives or for which something exists; an aim or a goal
• significant: having or likely to have a major effect; important;
• important: of great value

Here’s how I’d like to proceed. Please let me know your thoughts. First, I like the idea of working this out publicly as I am doing right now, almost as if this was an open letter to you (funny since we live together). I presume that we aren’t the only two people on earth who struggle with purpose—in life or web sites—so I think it would be useful to keep this dialogue public and open to scrutiny. Having it public also provides a small layer of accountability. That is, if it were not public I don’t know if I would do it at all. One more push over the cliff.

Also, I want to live openly from here on out. I have too many scars in my past to live the rest of my life as a secret. Let’s be smart about it, sure, but let’s be vulnerable. What is the value of being vulnerable and open?

Vulnerability requires courage. It says to the world, “I am not afraid of what you think or say about me because I know who I am and I know where my value lies.”

Vulnerability requires strength. Not inner strength because we both know that’s a lie. But strength that comes from the one who loves us. That need for strength means we must abide.

Vulnerability requires honesty. If I want to speak the truth to others I must be willing to speak the truth about who I am. Not so others can dangle my flaws in front of my face (because my past is dead) but in order to be trusted as one who speaks the truth.

Vulnerability requires humility. I must be willing to say I don’t have all the answers and I’m not always right. I must be willing to own mistakes. I must put the needs of others above my own.

Vulnerability requires love. True love is willing to risk ridicule and persecution.

And so, what is the fruit of strength, honesty, humility, and love? I believe it’s the type of integrity of character that breeds maturity, wisdom, and faith.

To get back to my earlier point, the second thing I’d like to do is define the most important thing. What is our goal? And if this site cannot be used to help us achieve that goal, we should close it and do something of value. Do you agree?

Third, I’m not convinced that a blog (a list of chronological posts and links) is the right frame for this house. If we decide to keep the site, I’d like to brainstorm ideas with you about making the site fit our purpose. And only then create a style to cover the house. Yes, I believe form follows function.

I also believe we should do something that allows us to be absorbed in it. It can be both fun and serious, but if it becomes a chore we won’t sustain it. If we are convinced of its value we should create something sustainable and we should use it.

That’s all I’ve got right now but I think these are important questions to answer before we begin. I’m tired of believing the world’s wisdom, that a few mindless activities won’t kill us. Sure, one or two. It’s okay to be entertained. But not kept in check we become consumed with mindless activities, buying mindless, purposeless crap, reading, listening, watching, doing purposeless things. And then we’re on our death bed wondering where all the time went.

Today I remember Brother Roger, founder of the Taize community, who was murdered several days ago at 90-years old during a worship service. I was blessed with a week at Taize, one of the richest experiences of my teenage life because my soul was rejuvenated after a year of spiritual isolation. On top of an amazing week of restoration through song and prayer, laughter, and fellowship, I celebrated my 19th birthday there. It was likely the most cross-cultural birthday I’ll ever experience, complete with an Italian woman baking a cake for me, Dutch friends singing for me (”O, is er een jarig hoera! hoera!”) and smothering me with thoughtful gifts, and people from literally all over the world wishing me blessings. I am thankful for Brother Roger’s vision and believe Taize will continue to draw people together of different cultures, languages, and lands in a way few places can.